The seasons of life - Week 11

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March 14, 2021

"Spring sang softly as winter died, I'll bloom for you; while my heart still cries."

Week: 11

Theme: Week 3 of 12 (slow, create, mindful)

It has been over twenty years since my father passed away. Losing him still triggers the sting of grief and many unresolved feelings. His inability to quit smoking still makes me resentful. As I live beyond his age it leaves emotions too difficult to unravel and evidence of the little time he had. Death magnifies our finite time.

While I work through the heartache, I am bruised by bitterness. Loosening my grip on gratitude, I begin unpacking the disappointment that splinters with envy. Examining the lessons learned, I settle the hurt with a balm of hope. How do you admit the void of life they never got to share?

Creating an image from the memory of their words puddles into sadness as family reminisces your life. Your death curdles like a misunderstanding, as if there was an option to be explained why you were needed more here.

So as another day dawns, I gather up my courage daring me back out into the world. Allowing my grief to grow into something new. A shift from the hollowness where the light still glows. Like the return of spring after a long cold winter, there is hope daring me upward.

Slowly I begin, releasing the ache, at least for a bit. Viewing my life with new eyes, joy is revealed beneath the lingering sorrow. Tucking away the sadness for another day, I celebrate the smiles that greet me while still wondering what could have been.

Did you know how the months got their names?

March – The name March comes from the Latin Martius or Martius menses, after the Roman god of war, Mars. In ancient Rome, this was also the month when armed conflicts would resume after the winter months.

Link to past seasons of life posts