The seasons of life - week 4

"Extremes are easy, find balance" 

Week 4

Theme: Balance

The inevitable degree of change in our lives is endless, even when we think we have control; we learn what little power we have, and that can foster further trepidation of the unknown. However, when the fear that is hinged with change is removed, we can begin to appreciate change as one of God's greatest gifts. 

The genius of change will push us in new and uncomfortable directions. This instability we attempt to avoid is necessary for us to grow. Change provides the time, space and pain to uncover who we are and what we are capable of. Much of our lives, activities, and habits, would never evolve if change did not redirect us.  

When things are different, it is easy to get uncomfortable, society strives for a volume of security. Whether the change arrives in the world we live in, a relationship, career or habit, as creatures of comfort we hesitate. But discomfort can be good. When we are nudged or pushed in new directions, we flourish as we discover and adapt through these learned experiences. 

In the early part of January, I “celebrated” my 18^th year of being smoke free. The journey of this transformation was not only challenging but also extremely rewarding. Especially since I was among the many, who did not think I could do it.  That one step created a redirection of my life, and a new chapter as a non-smoker. 

Additionally, with the improvement to my health, after quitting, I slowly became a runner, another change I had not predicted, and one that I still enjoy today. Running propelled a new focus away from my previous sedentary existence. Becoming a great source of strength and inspiration I can still draw from.

Our lives are faced with endless change, and it does not always come with a happy ending. In 1993 our 5-year-old son died in a matter of days when encephalitis from an unknown virus invaded his brain. Losing Ryan was the cruelest tragedy of our lives. Interrupting our once joyous home with destruction that would take years to comprehend.

The change that arrives with death is like no other. The mundane, now aches with rawness. The ground, unstable. Everything is different, and through each stage of grief, you transform in unfamiliar ways. Denial- it can’t be true, anger- who can I blame, bargaining – what could I have done differently, depression – nothing matters, and acceptance – I need to make his life have meaning.

The change from grief strips everything away. Every part of my life was different. Nothing carries any importance when you are shattered and vulnerable. With the time to process my grief, I began rebuilding, into a stronger, wiser, more compassionate being. Outcomes of change are different for each of us, but with time, the healing and growth will reveal a powerful lesson. 

Resolve arrives with the wisdom to reflect when I think about the many changes of my life. Each journey eventually bright with gratitude. It was never about when I arrived or how I changed, but instead who I become along the way.

Currently reading: The Prophet

Currently listening to: The push by Ashley Audrain

Did you know how the months got their names?

January - First month of the year, named after the Roman god of doors, Janus, because this month is the door into the new year.

Link to past seasons of life posts