Must be present to win 12/52

March: Mindfulness

Week 12: Must be present to win 

When setting goals for the New Year, I decided to give up social media for the month of January. And, I still have not returned to Facebook. For as much as I loved the connection with family and friends, for me, Facebook became more harmful than good. Besides for the obvious distraction it brings, the time lost scrolling had me questioning how I want to spend my days?

Recognizing my addictive personality and how I sink into most things, (smoking, or hobbies, even lately reading), I jump in with both feet, sinking deep into the quicksand or that habit. Yet, it was not only the time I felt I wasted, it was also all the arguing and political anguish. Facebook had become a bad habit I no longer enjoyed. It reminds me of my smoking, with the instant gratification, yet suffering in many other ways. That is when I decided that whatever is missing from my life will not be discovered in the world of social media. The less present I was in my own life, the more mindlessly I scrolled.

Another huge epiphany that negotiated this change came from a quote in a book I had recently read by Kate Bowler. While battling cancer she wrote, “I felt like while I fight for my life everyone else is scrolling through Instagram.”  Those words were another shift to reevaluate the time I spent online. Was this the way I wanted to spend my one wild and precious life (Mary Oliver)

To begin, I stepped away from it all, seeking time to reevaluate what parameters or rules I could I apply that would work for me.  As of writing this post, I still have not decided how I want to return, so I wait.  Although I do miss catching up with friends and family or visiting groups of my interests, I do not miss the endless marketing, political divide, and the angry noise from both sides of an issue.  

Sure, the habit is still there, just like when I smoked, I reached for the cigarette, or in this case, my phone. But already I don’t feel the anxiety of 2021. Instead, I am using that time to write and read, discovering peace in this new space of quiet where I can evaluate what I need.