Getting curious 7/52

February: Curiosity

Week 7: Getting Curious...

There are always opportunities to change who we are. Slowly, with age we are transforming without even trying. But there are also ways for us to participate in our own metamorphosis. By creating new habits or kicking an old habit, each day we wake with a clean slate of choices where we get to decide who we want to be.

For many years while angry with God I pretended I was fine. More concerned of the judgment or perceived opinions of others instead of getting curious to the why of my feelings. Pushing away pain had been a knee jerk reaction, seeking an escape. As I grow to understand the lessons in my pain, I lean in curiously. Sometimes untangling the worry of a day reveals my next step, a shift towards the discomfort that arrives with change. As I muddle through, I  get curious to the why, moving more confidently towards a new habit and journal to document my progress.

Without a measure of improvement, we tend to give up when things get difficult. I have given up only to begin again. Noticing that the gauge of my happiness does not always align with others. But, if I don’t get curious, l won’t choose a new direction, and that is where change is born.

Throughout my years of grief, therapy, and journaling, I have learned to question the many fixed beliefs I once held and  look at the world with a beginners mind. Baby steps of change do make a difference. Whether its adding meditation or taking a break from social media, I continue to examine how small change can make a big difference.