One day at a time 5/52

Little by little, day by day, what is meant for you will find it's way... 

February – Curiosity

Week 5: One day at a time

Any change in our lives happens one day at a time. My toughest lesson of one day at a time arrived with grief. When I lost my son Ryan, I was young, naïve, and completely crushed by grief. Unable to wrangle how this could happen and finding little information on how to survive. Even now, after all these years, I imagine there is still a layer of unprocessed grief within me. With no magic fix, or instant relief, I never truly learned how to experience the anguish.  The pain forced a tightened grip I struggled to get through quickly, but getting to the other side happened one day at a time. 

To process my grief, journaling was my one constant. It provided a place to release my emotions where I could look back, and recognize progress. On the page, I could see the process, and one day at a time, who I was becoming. Daily journaling magnified this progression and ignited my love of storytelling.

Documenting how I felt became the gateway to my growth. As I unraveled, I could see both sides of grief. Untangling both the joy I shared with my son and the pain I faced in his death.  Journaling helped clear the chatter of my thoughts, while I picked at emotions that were hard to express. Writing through each breakthrough, helped managed my thoughts.

When I quit smoking, began a new diet, or just wanted to document life, journaling provided the space to share the tremble of an uncharted course. Understanding the phases of the grief, does not make the process any less painful. But it does help clear the fog, and within the messy pages of my journals I am becoming.