In memory

18 years....

Its impossible to comprehend that eighteen years have passed without Ryan in our lives!  I've always tried to keep him a part of our lives, I mean how couldn't you... a piece of you has gone missing, you don't just forget about it.

But yet I have survived and that's not saying it was easy or that still today there aren't days that I am in a puddle on the kitchen floor.  But somehow I wake each day and try to go on with his loving spirit a part of my day.

I even dreamt about him the other night... those are always sweet to hold onto.  And of course the videos that we have of him are priceless gems that we let ourselves get absorbed into.

I didn't ask for this, I don't want to be this person that lost her son.  But here I am, trying to make a difference in others lives because of Ryan.

And so I will share a few of my favorite pictures of Ryan and the memories that they bring with them.

One of my favorites, I stayed up all night making their costumes.  It was okay because dad was out of town and I would have stayed up all night anyway because I could never sleep when he wasn't home.  Ryan's not wearing the cape or mask that completed his costume

He was always so sweet to his sister.  They had the McDonalds play food and drive through that they always played with!

Easter Sunday ready to go for brunch with the family

His 5th and last birthday. We spent the day at Chucky Cheese, he loved that place!

Who knew just over 2 months later he would be gone...

Ryan Kenneth Zarlenga

12/7/87 - 2/23/93