Frustrated

There are days I get so frustrated with life...

so many ups and downs in these stress filled days! While at lunch with Debbie the other day I could feel myself becoming unglued as I tried to deal with an issue with our rental property. What I was dealing with, while it needs to be righted, was put into perspective when I looked up at Deb and realized that what I was dealing with was an issue and not a problem, something that I could fix and or change.

But what she struggles through each day is nothing she can change. She can't make her brain heal faster, or her memory come back quicker. She doesn't even remember all she's been through.

But we do.... I do... I try and remind her to give herself a break when she gets frustrated, and recently we've been having more fun and less frustration. No, its still not Debbie, but there are parts of her I see especially in her humor, still using sound effects and hand motions to describe a situation, making it even funnier!

Taking Deb to therapy at Medina hospital can be interesting. While in the waiting room I observe all the people coming and going. Some moving slowly with the assistance of wheel chairs or walkers, while others shuffle by sad or grumpy, complaining of their aches and pains, lamenting on the long wait. 

It reminds me of the quote "Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference"

and then I wonder... what makes some of us trudge through life always complaining while others remain so happy and positive, despite their circumstances?

We do have a choice in our attitude, we all have a heavy load to bear. While some are heavier than others, I've met people that have gone through hell and still find the silver lining of life, and others who don't know what tough times are, yet are unhappy. And while trying not to judge, because some things are harder for some, Deb is a constant reminder that my life is really not that bad...

Life comes at us in waves... highs and lows, ups and downs. We all have something trying to take us down. But learning to ride the waves and believe that "this too shall pass" is sometimes easier said then done. 

We've come a long way and I have to remind myself of that when the days get long and the questions keep repeating. When she asks about her brothers, one who she doesn't remember died and the other who hasn't talked to her in over 10 years, or our father whose been gone since 1998 which she thinks she saw yesterday and so many other confusing questions.

She's getting past Christmas, realizing we are approaching another season, although she will still insist she didn't celebrate Christmas... it still is better and that's the part we need to remind ourselves of.