The calm and the storm

Slow motion has always been her speed...

If your in a hurry or have to catch a flight, be aware of her speed, because it does not change no matter what you have planned for the day or where you need to go. Trying to accomplish a lot is not going to happen so don't even try. 

She moves slow, eats slow and thinks slow and I often wonder what is going on in this  chapter of her slow motion life?

The purchase of a new toothbrush is a good 20 minute controversy. Checking her purse endlessly to make sure she has money, to only count again. This segways into the discord of which toothbrush to purchase? Returning to the isle three times until the final decision is made. Frustrating, but mostly sad to know that this is what consumes her mind. Making a decision has never been easy for her, but now it is a time consuming endeavor.

I don't know when I first started seeing her decline? Maybe it was the time many years ago when the Treasured Friends girls all got together for my birthday, and she forgot? Or the many lunch get togethers where we would have to call to see where she was...

She and Debbie together is a delicate balancing act of explaining what each of them means when they say something, or fending off angry outbursts of my mothers when Debbie questions her. Neither remembers the others impairment, and reminding them is pointless, since even that is soon forgotten.

They ask about one another as if they never see each other, with a resentment for what the other has not done, or in truth what they've forgotten. Their perceptions keep taking them back to anguish of the relationship they feel is missing.

Spending time with her can be lonely, she enjoys simple things, and her conversation exists of mostly the weather. Sitting outdoors she is content. She likes life slow and uncomplicated, doesn't like confrontation and is easily angered by the scant of matters.

Many of the traits are similar to the person she was before this ugly disease. While she still moved at a slow pace, her patience was abundant. Today the conversation is gone, there is nothing for her to say or she's unsure of the words, so she says nothing.

Me... I'm trying to adjust to the changes from the life we once all shared and learning my part in helping them through...