He would be 22 years old today

It's hard to believe that he has been gone so long when I can picture the details of him and his life so vividly like it was yesterday!

  Ryan K. Zarlenga December 7, 1987 - February 23, 1993

I often wonder, at age 22 would he be graduating from college this year, majoring in? So many things I often wonder... and that's all I can do is wonder

It goes without saying that life is just too short!  And right now I probably shouldn't be writing because I'm really feeling it... the sadness that is!  That feeling that just comes and takes over without warning and drags you down.  That feeling that only someone who has lost a child can really wrap their brain around...

But on my good days I can reflect and think of the positives.  Like how thankful I am to have been blessed with him for five years, and how much I learned from a 5 year old and learning and appreciating what life is "really" about, because in my mind I had more of a relationship in five years than some people get in a lifetime.

Its about being loved, sharing your love with others, even complete strangers.  By offering a kind word, a smile, something from your heart, because who knows, they too could be having one of those days and that random act snaps them out of it, even if only for a brief moment.

So today for Ryan's birthday,  I am planning a day of random acts of kindness in the hopes that I can reveal to others the sweet, kind and generous nature of a child that shared so much in his short life.

In all of our unique slips and stumbles.  We learn about ourselves and we grow.  

We find the way to hold our heads high in our imperfections and have confidence in ourselves through our blunders.

We discover it is possible to soar even if we're tripped, bumped, teetered, or tottered, that sometimes losing our footing enables us to take greater leaps than we thought possible.

- from the book Ordinary Sparkling moments by Christine Mason Miller