Change

is good....

It stirs things up, rocks the boat and most of the time points you in a new direction, and over the past few years, I like the changes I've been through.

No they haven't all been easy, but does anything that is good in life come easy?

But they are my story, my journey, and the reason I am this person today. The heartbreak in my life has never come by choice, always something sweeping in, knocking me down, forcing me to stand back up and make changes in my life.

"The most beautful smile is the one that struggles through tears"

Some of the stories are heart wrenching, that kick in the gut which had me in a puddle for a prolonged time. Like learning to walk again, each day I would force myself forward, even if just for a bit. I would write in journals, talk to friends, run and yes even talk with a therapist, to help me learn my way through things.

"We all have our own struggles in life, but don't let your struggle become your identity"

But the one thing that remains true through it all, I have been able to trudge through the pain, learn the lessons and move ahead a much stronger person than I was. They say you are not given more than you can handle and I remember Jane always telling me how she never knew how big her shoulders were with all she had to bear sometimes, and I agree, she sure did. I hope I made some difference in that load for her as today I have so many that help me bear the loads of life.

For my sister Deb, each day is a struggle, one that she forgets only to begin again the next day. I now truly know what a blessing a memory is, whether good or bad, when it sticks, you can learn from it.

Last night I spent some time talking with Gordon. With all he has going on he still has time for me. Its amazing the mountains great family can move when they help each other do it.

Today is the fresh start that I've needed and I'm ready to begin again...